The Lawnmower
- By Julie R. Enszer 
By my late twenties, I had achieved all of the signs of affluence on my list, except for the lawn service, and realized that my inventory for wealth was really an indication of staunch middle class-dom. I also realized that achieving the goals of my list made me more like my mother than I cared to think about. Nonetheless, as a list maker, I knew I could not start a new list of affluence indicators until all of the initial goals had been achieved and all that remained was hiring a lawn service. Lawn care services embodied to me the financial comfort of not having to contend with mowing the lawn. Despite my impassioned pleas to the wife, the thorough class analysis, and necessity to fulfill this last item on the list, I lost the battle for a lawn service. One Saturday, we found ourselves in Home Depot purchasing a lawn mower and a gasoline can, and trudging the whole thing home. Two hours later in tears and screaming at each other, we couldn't get that mower started. Nothing worked. Even our friend, the former army captain, couldn't get that mower to work. And so a week later, we brought that mower back to Home Depot. At first they weren't going to take it back because it had gasoline in it. I gently explained, how else would we find out that it didn't work if we hadn't put gasoline into it. The gentle approach failed, and so I hollered and threatened a scene if they did not completely refund my money immediately. They did. Another week passed. The lawn continued to grow. The wife set up a lawn service that manicured our lawn on a weekly basis thereafter.
Julie R. Enszer is now a suburban Virginia dyke working for an internet start up company headed by a bunch of ex-AOLers. (Check it out at www.calypso.com!) Prior to this foray into the corporate world, she worked for the Gill Foundation, the largest grant-making organization on gay and lesbian issues, as the Director of Training and Technical Assistance (aka TATA Queen) and travelled around the country evangelising about the benefits of philanthropy for queer folks. Before that, she was the Executive Director of Affirmations Lesbian/Gay Community Center, a $500,000 organization serving metropolitan Detroit. Contact: Julie@technodyke.com
 Feature Archive | Write for Techno Dyke! |
