Gettin' Behind
( originally published in Au Courant )
- By Kelli Dunham But since Roche has spent so much of money developing this product, we shouldn't let this technology go to waste. It seems Xenical works because it prevents you from absorbing the fat in your food, so the fat just passes through unchanged and leaks out your behind. Couldn't gayfolk use a pill like this to take when we are exposed to homophobic energy, so it could pass through us without causing us any ill effects? We could call it Queerinical, we would lobby for HMOs to cover it, and it would have a myriad of uses.
For example, going to visit your folks? Scarf down a couple of Queerinical and you would be completely immune from absorbing (and thus internalizing) their homophobia. You could even wait until your parents went to Mass and you could go down on your girlfriend in their house - in their bedroom - even in their bed. Or how about when the public transit folks want to argue with you about whether they think the "F" on your pass matches your gender presentation? Pop a couple of Queerinical and you wouldn't be intimidated. Instead, you'd stand up, loud and proud, wave your finger in the driver's face and say "Hello, perhaps if you're going to give people like me such a hard time, you should consider not calling this a Transpass!" You'd then stomp to your seat and leave the driver to wonder what the hell you were talking about. Without leaving a little oily trail behind you.
 | | ABOUT KELLI
Kelli Dunham (once known as Sister Mercy) was kicked out of the Missionaries of Charity in 1995 for "insufficient docility." She is now an award-winning queer humor columnist, activist and nurse. Kelli's essay, "Crazy Is as Crazy Does" appears in the recent Alysson anthology _Dykes With Baggage: The Lighter Side of Lesbians in Therapy_. She cordially invites you to check out her webpage www.kellidunham.com . Contact: kellidunham@aol.com |
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