|
The 2003 Queer Year in Review Awards
by Kelli Dunham
Most Inappropriate Use of a Word Beginning in "I" ...Goes to Bush, who defended Santorum's remarks, calling the Senator "inclusive." Okay, Georgie, if by "inclusive" you mean "a giant-ass bigot," we're with ya on that one. Most Inappropriate Use of a Word Beginning in "I" Word (runner up) ...Goes to the Pope, who this year declared gay families "inauthentic." I don't get it. In 2002, the Pope-miester called us "gravely disorderly" which I assumed was just a verbal slip. I mean, if you've ever helped a gay person move, I'm sure you'll agree that the Pope meant to say some of us are "gravely disorganized," not "gravely disordered." But "inauthentic?" Um, excuse me but why the hell is the Pope using lesbian processing terms? If I'm at some community meeting and the Pope comes in and starts talking about "I feel hurt and scared when gay people form families because it seems so inauthentic to me..." Well, I dunno. I might just hurl. Which brings us to the next award.... The Hey We Didn't Even Know You Guys Knew About That Award ...Also goes to the folks at the Vatican, who released a statement this year that said gender reassignment surgery does not, in fact, change gender. Hmmm, it's interesting that the hierarchy of the Catholic Church and the organizers of womyn born womyn only festivals agree on this one! The "They Like Us, They Like Us, They Really Like Us" Award ...Goes to the Queer Eye for the Straight Guy dudes. The fab five have had great success turning hard-core heterosexuals into much groovier metro-sexuals. Let's hope the gang inspires all sorts of spinoffs like:Queer Eye for the Straight Lie (Urvashi Vaid, Imani Henry and honorary queen Michael Moore dish/diss Bush's foreign policy) Straight Pi With Some Queer Chai (innovative math program broadcast live from a San Francisco Starbucks) Femme Eye for the Dyke Boi (femmes give hapless butches fashion advice such as "y'know, technically there's more to dressing up than wearing dark socks.") And finally, Queer Mouth for the "Straight" Louse (an x-rated feature in which Mr. Santorum gets his sausage needs taken care of by an extremely self-sacrificing gay man) Previous | Next
| |  | ABOUT KELLI
Kelli Dunham is a stand-up comic, writer and ex-nun on the run living in Philadelphia. She is also the co-founder and co-editor of Gayety the Queer Humor Zine and spoken word event series. Send her an email at kellidunham@aol.com or visit her website at KelliDunham.com |
Feature Archive | Write for Techno Dyke! |
