My Lesbian Husband - Barrie Jean Borich
(Graywolf Pr)
reviewed by SD Sampson
Borich also recognizes in this chronicle that, while she seeks some formal acknowledgement of her relationship, she struggles with the fear of being swallowed by this thing called "marriage". "I wish to share life with Linnea, and I ache for her when she is gone. And yet, I do not wish to be swallowed, do not hope to become just a hint of a former flavor in a whole new soup." The author is constantly trying to balance that essential love connection with Linnea without losing what makes them unique individuals. Does one lose individual identity when they are married? Do the individuals become one integrated identity over time?
On a much more basic level, this book is also just a beautiful, simple love story. Barrie and Linnea delight in the simple richness of life like walking their dog Patsy Cline, watching the neighborhood, watching Linnea work on her motorcycle, laying together and making love. They joke about the clutter in their life, the rundown apartments they shared, and being "lesbians married by the power vested in them by their dwellings" after the purchase of their house. Borich reminds us not to overlook the simple and uncomplicated joy we can find in the natural and common rhythms of life.
A surprise ending to the book comes when Barrie and Linnea settle on a wedding to define and legitimize their relationship and its importance. Up to this point, you would swear that Borich could not be a part of the man-woman wedding tradition because it just did not fit with who they were as a couple. This is an indication of a very basic need for a way to somehow formally acknowledge our relationships in some way - a way to indicate that we were in fact together as a couple on this earth. After the wedding I think Borich summed it up well by saying: "We are written down together. There is a record of us where there was no mention of us before." I guess that is all any of us is looking for in this life - some recognition of our existence and the ability to take our rightful place in society.
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